Archives for: October 2009


10/26/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

In all things and to all those you meet and greet, ask your

self. ” how can I be part of the answer here?”

Be part of the answer to the question….. how, where, what?

When others come to you in need, confusion, with concern.

When in thier eyes you see pain, loss, fear, search your

heart, for one moment, ask yourself, can I be any part of an

answer for this person. You can’t solve it all for another,

but you can be part of helping them to help themselves.

This way you make yourself into an angel.

And you know all the things angels can do…some

fine perks to that job.

I am going to be part of the answer for an orphanage in

Mexico through an amazing charity called World

Child Project.

I will be speaking on this more in the next

few weeks. But, I have lived a long time to have the honor

to help in this way. I can tell you, I will make this the most

important thing I do. Watch me.

I want those wings. One feather at a time, I am building myself

a pair with which to do some high flying and to stir the winds of


Care to join me? Just say the word. We need all kinds of

help, and…. I like building wings.

I would say, actually, that is my life’s work.

Shareen: Wing Builder. (one vintage dress at a time.)


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Sometimes your best friend is your worst enemy in disguise.
Your worst enemy must get close to you in order to hurt you.
And thankfully that closeness, if you are paying attention, will allow you to
see them.
Love them for showing you the truth.
They have brought you the gift that only an
enemy can carry. That of your clarity. Use it to get rid of them.

Sometimes your best supporter is your biggest detractor.
Because your most powerful detractor IS your best supporter.
There is nothing more valuable than the learning you do in the zone of the
dynamic negative.
Those that shout angry statements must be heard.
Not that what they say is true.
The gift will come in how you deal with the lie.
Can you stand in the face of criticism and discern the difference between what you hold as truth and what you know is false?
Testing. Testing. One Two Three.

Finally, I am reading a book called “Blink” (Malcolm Gladwell).
Basically, we know the truth about anything, anyone, any situation in the blink of an eye. And then we spend lots of time proving that knowledge to be false. Only to find ourselves wrong.
The truth is percieved immediately.
We know what we know. Trust in that.
That little voice that you hear right away, is correct. Always.
Do as it says even if you don’t know why.

None of this is pretty.
But all of it is beautiful.


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

The only way that others can hurt you is if you let them.
And if you do, they have you.
The negative knocks on your door and you should open it, look it in the face and laugh.
The big bill that arrives, the medical thing that scares,
the rumor that spreads, SO WHAT. Your love, your truth, your peace is yours and they are all you need to manage anything.
You give those things away and the negative not only has you paying a big bill, it has you sick to your stomach and unable to think, and not able to work etc. Instead, say, COOL. A big bill means a big check must be coming my way.
Same thing for little sharp spears that want to sting you.
Just pull them out quickly, dab on some emotional peroxide,
toss them to the ground, and skip on down the street dancing.

I love this from Shakespeare’s Othello:
” The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

There is no way more certain to fail than the way of entitlement. Go forth with the expectation that everyone should bow down to you and they will not. Go forth with kindness, humility, love and all will go to their knees to lift you upwards.. In my store, it is always the girl who expects nothing from me, and who walks gently that I give not only my all, but the all I have. And it is the girl that comes expecting the best, and that my world should spin around her every need, that finds herself on her own and resisted.
It is a life lesson.
Go forth with humility. The meek do inherit the earth. Not because they come from low self worth, but because they come with more love and respect for those they encounter than for themselves.


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

I think it is hard to write the movie of our lives. There are so many characters involved, so many twists and turns to manage…….but we CAN write the character
we want to play in our movie and in the movies of others. We can decide how we would like to be cast.
And it is important to take the time to do this.
Who do you want to be? The rag doll, the lost girl, the Princess, the Wench, the Queen, the wicked step sister, the poet, the seeker, the starving artist, the whore,
the star., the failure, the success. the crazy girl, the healer……. Decide and then write out all the characteristics of that role- and consider all the things that
character will go through in the movie. Pick for yourself a character who’s life you care to experience.
Many of us are in rag doll, lost girl, whore, starving artist mode and are experiencing the terrible ups and downs that those characters generally experience. You
don’t have to go there. You don’t need to be the rag doll girl. Or the girl who never gets the guy. Or the girl who always is in dream mode and never in receive mode.
You can play the other parts if you will only study the characteristics of those women. How does a star behave. What does she expect from herself and others.
How does a princess behave- a queen-a success, a healer, etc.. what are their boundaries for others and how do they treat the world around them. What sorts of
activities do they engage in? How do they speak? And what experiences do these roles generally attract– do you want them?
Are you perhaps in a role that really doesn’t suit you?
More than likely you didn’t do your research well enough and you have fallen into patterns of behavior that
have taken you down the road of experiences you really don’t want. The Rag Doll usually has terrible days and nights with men who mistreat her, and the whore is
well paid and often desired, but lacks love and true intimacy and the starving artist is always in a condition of yearning- or hoping- and of never really having
reward for their work. Don’t ever say you are a struggling actress, or that you aspire to be a novelist. You ARE what you WANT to be. You are an actress, you are a novelist,
film maker, teacher, whatever you say you are.
Today, you have the power to write your own role- you can be what ever woman you want.
Write it down. And then enter the world as her. Watch your experiences start to change- watch all your relationships shift to accommodate who you really are…….
and get verbal about it. You tell everyone in your world how you now need to be treated.

Takes courage and I know you have it.
Take off the mask of “the less than girl ” and let the world know just how great you are.


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls


Yesterday I left the store in a hurry. I had a 5pm in
Santa Monica and was leaving late. I got in the car
and realized that I had no gas. Typical of me, I had
waited until ‘the light” had been on past the point of
comfort and knew I had to go and fill up before getting on
the freeway.
I rushed to the gas station. Put in my card and pulled out
the hose to stick it in my gas tank. I waited. The display
read… “see attendant". Damn.
My cell phone rang. A client was driving downtown to pick
things up, was running late, will we wait for her?. … etc and so
forth, I gave the guy my card, he swipes it, I take my card.
I was still on the phone with my client….. “sure we can
wait, just call Michelle…. yes, right, great,”
I go to the car, get in and drive off.
I hear a thud……..
I get out of the car at there is the hose still attached
to my tank and now completely detached from the
Everything stops for a second.
Oh my God. I have broken a gas pump.
My licence number, my phone number, and the
information that I will be charged 2 to 3 hundred dollars
when the pump is repaired.

I call JD.
“Bunny….. you aren’t going to believe this but I …"….
And as I tell him, I begin to laugh. OH my GOD.
there was the pump still attached to my car…….
And he says,” wow….. how can you laugh at this..
I would be upset for days” ……. and I say.
I say…… “there are dramas of the soul and dramas of
matter. This is one of matter. If I make it a drama of the soul
then I will internalize it. Once it is inside me, the rest of my day
will be ruined and perhaps tomorrow too and then maybe the next
day. This is a thing that can be handled. It shall stay out side of
me……. it is a drama that is of matter– out there—and I will
keep it out there. Its just what it is. I need not make it more.”
And I laughed some more as I reviewed the experience again.

The parking ticket, the little car accident, the flat tire, the broken
vase, the spilled drink, the stained blouse, the lost cell phone.
These are mistakes, mysteries, mishaps. Let them be simple.
Take them in and you give them more power than they deserve.
Think of the little moments of challenge as just that. They challenge
your ability to stay in love, in freedom, in joy and hope. WIN
WIN. Never let the negative get you. Don’t let it in you. Just
look at it and laugh. HA HA. Fine then, I’ll pay the fee, I will get a
new cell phone, I will clean up the drink and sweep up the vase
and YOU, Negativity, dark one….. you will not get me for more than
one second………
Trust me on this…… laugh at the dark side and its miserable attempts
to steal you away from all that you are and deserve to be. Happy.
Loved, Free.


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

The rain said to the Pitcher,
“Would you carry me to the garden,
my flowers are dying and need water?”
The Pitcher said to the rain, ” Oh, my,
um, now?, I mean, I haven’t rinsed out in
a while and, gosh, really?, I mean, there’s some
rust here at the bottom.. yuk.. I mean, could we
wait for a de- rusting… could do it next week…..?”
The rain was silent for a moment and looked at
the chattering, quaking Pitcher.
” You gotta be kidding me", said the rain.
“OK, lets start over. I said the flowers are dying
and need some water, would you please carry
me over there. NOT about you. Just get over here
and take some of me to where I am needed. NOW.”
The Pitcher stared at the rain. It thought and thought.
“Oh gosh, I mean, I just don’t think I look good enough
right now, and I had hoped to fix my broken handle, and
then there is that clog in my spout> Really! I just must
argue with you. I simply can’t “
The rain drew very quiet. and then it boomed. ” Get you
cold hard ass over here and take me in. Carry me to the flowers.
THEY ARE DYING. It is not about you. No one cares what you look
The Pitcher looked aghast. ” Wow. OK!! Fine! I’ll do it. Gosh!
Geez” it said as the rain filled it to fullness. ” Just wanted a
quick polish job before visiting with Flowers for goodness sake.
Can’t blame me for that.’ it mumbled as it walked full to the brim
with rain to the flower bed.

The flowers bowed their heads first as they were in need and then lifted them
in joy for relief of thirst. And all at once they sighed and said as one…. ” Oh what a beautiful
pitcher. “

Get it?
Go where you are asked. Show up where you are needed and leave your little considerations out of it.
Its not about you. It is about the joy, the love, the vision, the hope, the message that you can carry forward.


10/15/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

If you have a dear friend, hug her tight. Thank her for her love, fight with her if you have to, but always fairly, cleanly, and with consciousness. Know that any complaint she has against you contains some truth. Listen always with an ear for the gift she may be giving you. And love her as you offer your complaints as well. We are blessed by the love of dear friends. Practice, kindness and tolerance but suffer no abuse. Ever. To that say no. And walk away.


10/14/09 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

It is late.
I have been in attendance to the pain of a dear
We wept together tonight.
Her sobbing was falling glass.
We shared her loss of 22 years, We mourned
the breach of a deep intimacy, and suffered
the insult of a stunning betrayal. Tonight
shock gave way to the slow thaw of
understanding and acceptance.
It slowly dawns on us, what is happening. We come
back to life only to experience the pain.
What I come away with is the awareness that
we must spend our time coming to understand
our relationship to our Mothers and Fathers.
It all begins and ends there, no matter what we think.
The only responsible life path and the only hope
for happiness lies first in our ability to understand
who we are and what we need, and secondly, the
courage to communicate that knowledge honestly to others.
Not easy. Life’s work.

October 2009
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