Archives for: February 2010

SMILE

02/22/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

The most alluring thing a woman has is her smile. If you are single and are wondering why it is so hard to meet someone, ask yourself when the last time was that you looked into a man’s eyes and smiled. Men are in awe of us.

They just want to make us happy. If you show them what that looks like at the top they will spend an eternity working to keep you there.

Really, if you are single you should say hello to every man you see that seems remotely of interest. Just say, ” hi” and smile. And then leave your judgement, and your ” he has to have and he has to be and he has to do “……… out of it entirely. All of your prerequisites are fear based road blocks. All he has to have is truth.

And all he has to do is LOVE YOU.

Shareen

LOVE

02/11/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

We think the love we have is all the love there is.
We think to lose “him” will leave us empty.
I watch as you cry, you women in your twenties,
And I tell you, he is not your source, nor is he your supply.
Please, know, that there is so much more to behold and to be held.
Love, like nature only goes forward. Whatever love you know today, you will
know more tomorrow. Its like high school. You won’t have to do 7th grade again.
You will never again accept the little you have gotten. You will ask for
more and you will get that more.
Ahhhh the fucking 20′s are the most hideous time ever in your life.
Just make it to 30. Trust me, the seas get more steady.
The gray matter is grown and you will finally think straight.
Love is not finite. Love is infinite. Same with money. Same with work.
Same with joy and creativity. The supply is endless.
No one is the be all and end all. Your good does not come through the eye
of a needle.
Your good comes in buckets and streams and through the rivers and oceans..
take your pick my love. Just stop acting like the little match girl.
You are the princess and your kingdom is great.
If you have lost ‘the one” rejoice!!!!! No joke. Get up and dry your eyes and
go out and look with an open and eager heart. Your prince is out here looking
for you and he is defined by your ability to define him.
Get it?
He will be all that you want once you know that you can have it.

XOXOXOX. S.

GOD

02/08/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

I flew across the country the other day and Jet Blue provided the great opportunity for me to spend 4 of the 6 hours flying with the Grammy’s.

The young woman one seat over had her earpiece in, as I did. We read. We did not talk. We are serious travelers. We are extra leg room women. We are,” please, this is my time, I have friends on both coasts, thank you very much.”

The Grammy’s began with the outrageous, and extraordinary Lady Gaga??!. Damn. She just makes me want to scream my head off. And she speaks to so much I believe in regarding individuality and fearless self expression. And she has a strong voice and presence as a performer. And if she weren’t enough already, the legendary Sir Elton John appeared to sing with her, and for all my need to be private, I couldn’t contain myself, —- music, art, and the sheer joy of performance had placed God squarely in my soul and I turned to see the bright spirit in my heart, smiling back at me.

My traveling partner and I looked at one another…… eyes wide……. heads’ shaking in disbelief and at once nodding in that YES that we all know… that one that says………. right on…… of course……… f***ing …. WOW………. Lady Gaga and Elton John live at the Grammy’s, and then, we returned to our privacy. But the bubble had been burst.

Then Pink….. amazing…… and we shook our heads again, glancing at one another in wide grins, and finally, at a commercial break, we spoke and began to share, and each time the show began we lost one another to the work…. and then, again with Beyonce!!!!! who is AMAZING………the power, the commitment, the focus, the purity of spirit and the love, the love she has……. her performance made me suicidal. Really!! , I wanted to jump out of the plane.

The force of her energy !!!!!! The girls is out of control. I love her. She has JOY! And great innocence in love. How she jumps up and embraces Jay-Z, is how I run to JD. It is the fierce attachment to that man that takes care of the little girl while at once breathing fire into the” take no prisoners woman.” Yup. That man is it and all,

And like this our time together went on our flight to LA taking in spirit enough to lift us to connection, to smile, and laugh, and experience glee and delight, and we even wiped away tears in unison to see Michael Jacksons kids trying so hard to be grown up….. . We shared life and love enough to open our hearts.

There is a power to music. There is an energy to the collaboration between great artists and their audience. This feeling we had, of awe, wonder, joy, possibility, open heartedness, excitement, —– this feeling that made me feel at one with everyone, this is what I call God and my time with my Jet Blue friend, that is what I call church.

LOVE

02/03/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

I have been complaining to JD that I have no luxuries in my life. I have bothered him with my dissatisfaction and have pushed him to provide luxury and ease for me.

We have been struggling in this area.

While in NY last week, I joined a gym and now am able to use its LA locations as well.

Tonight I went there for the second time and worked out. I lay on the mats and stared at the ceiling.

I was quiet. Tears came.

I thought….. a bad mood is sometimes just the effort it takes to hold back tears.

I have missed myself. I have needed care.

“What you want is what you need to give yourself” , I thought.

I went to the steam room. I lay down. I hadn’t been in a steam room in at least 10 years.

I didn’t know what to do. A naked woman entered. Within a few seconds Mount Vesuvius erupted and the room filled slowly with a blinding gray. . She sat to my left. She was silent. I had my eyes closed. When I opened them I saw only fog. I turned to look for life. Over there to my left was a shadow. A woman was bent over. Her head on her knees.

I turned away, and closed my eyes and in that moment my love knew her.

I heard her yawn.

Strangers, sharing space, being as one together. I knew her. And she knew me.

I went to shower. When I was dry and clean, searching for the laundry basket, a fresh faced woman smiled at me. I thought, oh, yes, it is you. I know you. I love you.

I smiled back.

And there was love. And that is how it is.

BEAUTY

02/01/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Tonight, while pulling into a parking structure my mom thanked me for holding her hand.

It has been a year since she was in the hospital and she must have remembered the day I flew to NY to see

her in the ICU.

It is true that I just sat beside her without talking. and I held her hand. I leaned into her and looked into her eyes.

I was saying in silence, “you are here, I am with you, hold on.” And my stillness and focus was a kind of silent reassurance.

Tonight she said, “thank you for holding my hand when I was in the hospital. You made me feel safe.”

“Oh, Mom,” I said. ” I can’t believe you remember that.”

She said, ” I looked at you, I stared at you, and I thought, look at my girl. Look how beautiful.”.

I remember that moment as well. I was staring into her eyes and they were so plaintive. She was in such fear.

She needed to be held really. She needed the fierce voice of ‘ don’t worry. It is OK. You will be alright.”. But your children don’t have that to offer. Often their own fear stands in the way.

(I don’t think I have ever held my mother. Sad really. I have never really cuddled her.)

I sat there girding myself up. Holding onto all I had in the way of faith. I sat there holding her hand and she stared deep into my face.

She stared deep into eyes she clung to as life, and said, ” so beautiful. ”

My mom called me beautiful.

Tears fell from my eyes. She made me feel prized, this woman who made me, who’s beauty is so far beyond mine, and who rarely, if ever, praised me.

February 2010
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 << < Current> >>
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28