Archives for: March 2010

TRUTH

03/26/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Lies are like mud on the soul.
They choke and clog and
make things slippery and dangerous.
They isolate and suffocate.
And the truth is like thunder and lightening and
a torrential rain.
It is loud and scary.
It is electrifying and it overwhelms.
It begins out of a great silence and then
a strong wind kicks up, dark clouds come, they roll quickly, and in a moment the rain begins.
You know that moment?, when you know a storm is coming? What a relief it is when it actually starts.
The truth is the same. You can feel it in you. It wants to come out and it does make you still and silent, and
so full that you cannot hold it anymore.
And you begin.
And it always makes everything worse, before it makes
everything else better.
The truth creates possibility by allowing for clarity.
The mud is washed away and the world becomes bright and fresh and a kind of peace settles on all.
A new day begins and new growth is encouraged.
Yes, and some things are washed away never to be held again.
Truth does sometimes hurt but it should be delivered with the intention to heal.
Where ever it is in your life that you hold a lie or a secret so grave as to make you separate, find one person with whom you can be honest.
I remember confessing something to a good teacher of mine.
I thought I was bad. I had done something that felt so wrong.
I struggled with this thing for years, and I suffered holding it down.
I tried for months to tell her, and when I finally did, I put my head down and cried.
She waited. She let me cry. And she said, I forgive you.
With those three words, she lifted a burden off of me. She gave me back my lightness of being and let me know that I was acceptable again.

WORK

03/18/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Boy. It has been a tough week!
On all fronts there has been resistance, complication,
disappointment, hurt and frustration.
As I walk out of the woods and into the clearing, what
I see is that life takes a hideous and exhausting amount of work.
There is really no room for apathy.
If you want something, or for something to work, you
have to give it your time, otherwise it dies.
Everything is a function of our commitment to self, joy,
love, truth and focused attention.
The only metaphor that really works is that of the garden.
If you don’t water the plants they die. If you don’t weed the
garden it chokes. If you don’t enjoy the fruit, you waste your
effort and suffer resentment. A vicious weed, resentment.
It will do all the work of killing for you.
Often we are tending many gardens at once. There is the garden of work,
the garden of love and the garden of friendship.
How you tend one is not how you will tend to the other.
I cannot care for my man as I do my business and my
friendships need another hand altogether.
One is field of grain, hearty and strong, and the other
is a hot house of orchids. A gentler hand is required.
And the last is a rose bush that needs cutting and pruning,
and to be celebrated. A rose needs to be seen in a vase
at the center of a table.
I will admit that I am out of balance and struggling with the
overgrowth of resentment. I am working to restore balance.
And I am angry.
I am.
I just want it all to be easy. I do. I want all things to comply. I want my
cake and to eat it too and I want him to be about me ALL THE TIME!!
Oh god. I just want to be a spoiled brat. I do. For once in my life, I just
want to have it all MY WAY. I DO. I REALLY DO. MY WAY.
I just want one week, of my life, truly, to be about ME.
I want to be six, and to have the melt down tantrum in the grocery store.
And I want my mom to give me the caramel covered apple.
Ok?
That is all.
NO work, NO school, NO compromise, NO caring about YOU.
Just Me and more me and more ME ME ME.
Ahhh.
Thank you.

HOPE

03/05/10 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Spring.
Time of growth.
Change, Renewal.
Spring cleaning is about letting go of what hasn’t worked.
Do it easily.
Do not rush out to fill the space again. Instead celebrate the emptiness and watch as the space is filled perfectly for you.

Hope is sitting in a window expecting that itŁ will arrive.
Faith is being in the room celebrating itsŁ arrival.

Celebrate.
The buds are breaking through the earth.
Celebrate. The air has warm arms.
Celebrate. The sun that touches your face.
Celebrate that you and I are here today to know this life, this love, this joy.
Take your joy everywhere, everyday, no matter what. It is your magic potion. It is your map, your food, your money in the bank. It is your creativity, and your greatest offering.
(It is my middle name.
And if you are short on it, I will lend mine to you.)

Hopefulness has you out of the room of your life in expectation.
Faith lets you be here now, in the fullness of your knowledge that all is good and as it should be.
That you have what you need.
This bit of news lifts you to your feet, arms up, good and wide, deep breath. Ahhhhhh, big smile.
Take that.
GO.

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