Archives for: April 2011

Transformation

04/25/11 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Within a few hours of the shows airing, I began to receive letters.
I stayed up late answering them.
Women from all over the country wrote to me about their lives and dreams and their fears.
They spoke of issues of self esteem and their need for true and profound transformation.
I took their feelings to heart and supported them with my words.
I have been where they are.
I know how hard life can be.
And I sit here tonight, only blessed to be some where else.
I cannot tell you how profound change can happen for you, but I can tell
you the things that I have learned along my way.
When you are lost it is OK to cry often.
You will surrender your confidence for humility.
The confident can make a path, but for the humble a path will be made.
You will surrender your answers for questions.
Those with answers learn nothing.
All their sentences end with a period.
Those who live the question mark have at least
the hope of becoming an exclamation point.
The period has no hope of change.
Surrender your addictions.
Sorry.
But, your addictions keep you from the truth.
And it is true that the truth will set you free.
If you are in addiction think of yourself as
deaf, mute, blind and in a dead end.
This is the level of your limitation.
If you are OK with your life as it is then
keep it up.
But if you want change, the fastest way is
to put it down.
Your positive thoughts will make a good life.
But an empty mind ruled by a grateful heart will make
a miraculous life.
Miracles are beyond your understanding.
You cannot create the miracle you want.
You can only receive it.
You must stop trying to know everything.
Instead celebrate knowing nothing.
You cannot receive an answer if you do
not live in a question.
I tell you, I know this to be true, all your answers will have voice in your joy.
And those that love you will join this voice in harmony.
The path you seek is one you have been paving most of your life.
It will consist of the things you have always loved, and of those that
have always brought you joy.
Joseph Campbell wrote that we should follow our bliss and he was right.
Go where you love.
Go without a map and have no answers.
You are not wise enough to go forth with an answer.
Go only with questions.
Ask everyone you know and all the strangers you meet.
Where am I?
Here is what I love.
What shall I do?
How shall I do it?
And wait. Watch. Listen.
The answers are all around you and they are simple.
And say yes to any offers of work.
You cannot pray for work and then turn it down.
Say yes.
Go.
Learn.
Witness.
Give.
Like this you will be shown answers.
Put your ego aside.
Cry if that hurts.
But do it anyway.
And what ever your religion get good at prayer.
To pray is to say thank you. That is all.
Do not ask for anything.
You don’t know what you want.
You don’t know what you need.
If you did you would have it.
Remember, again, know nothing and pray
only thank you, thank you, thank you.
For every little thing, always, thank you.

The Journey

04/06/11 | by Shareen [mail] | Categories: downtown girls

Bringing any miracle into this world requires a little screaming.

In 2003 I worked as a house cleaner, a garage organizer and a babysitter.

Mostly I babysat.

I sat for 5 families in Los Angeles for up to 50 hours a week.

I would wake up at 6 in the morning and go from one home to the next.

Often, I would visit three families a day.

I took care of children under the age of three, except for one family that had three children between 2 and 8.

I met moms at front doors and took their little ones to the park, to the pet store, off on walks and I would also clean up their rooms and make them meals and I read to them.

I folded laundry and ran errands and cleaned kitchens.

I showed up for date nights and fed children dinner and played games with them until bedtime.

That year, I cried every day.

Every day, I wondered what had become of my life.

I had gone to the best schools that money could buy.

I had worked in the fashion industry in prestigious jobs.

I became an actress and found even that difficult career easy.

I worked quickly, consistently and made good money.

And then, in 2002, I began to feel things changing.

By 2003 I found myself broke, in serious debt, without a sense of direction and filled with fear.

Today, I know to call this year, The Year of the Great Humbling.

I was being humbled.

I was being prepared to enter a new chapter in my life that would require not only humility but compassion.

That year, I developed a great sense of compassion for women.

That year, I also developed a great sense of willingness to give without concern for myself.

Working with children will do that for you

I learned that I am unimportant.

I learned that my plans are meaningless.

And I learned that the good that comes to me is not meant for me alone.

That year I learned that life is better when you do what is wanted and needed of you. Not what you think you want and need.

That year I gave up ambition entirely.

At this time, I learned the meaning of generosity and the value of charity.

The chapter of my story that was coming to an end was titled Me.

And the chapter of my story that was being written was titled You.

Today, I am living the You chapter and I am understanding that any great life is a life lived successfully in the chapter of You.

In the Year of the Great Humbling, I had sleepless nights and relentlessly difficult days.

I struggled to hold on to hope and to surrender it at once.

And in that year, I met JD.

I was first attracted to his brilliance as an actor

and then I discovered that he was a nice guy.

He was funny and he was so sweet to me.

I had never known such tenderness as that which he showed me.

He cared about me.

He made me laugh.

And he didn’t judge what I was going through.

He never offered me financial help but he was a great source of emotional support.

And he fed me. (In body and soul.)

He would cook dinners for me in his little apartment.

We would eat pasta and red sauce sitting on the floor at his coffee table.

At some point in the evening, I would cry, and he would hold me as I wept.

I was just so sad and so scared and so lost.

Poor guy.

Here I was newly in love with him and I just cried all the time.

He would hug me and he would tell me over and over again, You are strong. You will make it, It will all work out.

And it has.

The journey that brought me to where I am today is nothing short of a miracle.

And every day, I express my gratitude by working to help other women transform their lives, knowing that transformation happens with the help of others and requires a voice that says, You are strong, You will make it, And it will all work out.

Here is my little secret…I don’t care about dresses. I care about you.

I care about us, those of us going through change and not knowing the answer.

I care about women like me, full hearted and gifted who have lost their way.

I care to be a sign on the road that says Yes, you can and here is how.

Here is what worked for me and here is what I am working on today.

Because every day is a day to nurture great change in your life.

Some things will feed your soul’s growth and other things will work to limit it.

I am here to bravely admit my struggle to discern the difference between the two.

You can watch my life as an example, if you like.

And you can laugh as you witness me getting it all wrong and you can cry for me as I work to get it right.

And all the while, know that I am working to find the right words to offer you. I am seeking all that may inspire you on your way.

Here is what I know now:

Give up me for WE.

You can do that simply by turning ME on its head.

ME is a fortress. It serves to protect you in a small safe way.

WE is for the Queen and it is the sign of her crown.

WE is for those whose lives are about others.

WE is for those that are open and energetic.

WE is for those women who know the value of service to the whole, the greater good and that which serves to better others.

Here is another great secret I know.

ME is Out.

WE is In.

If you want it to work out, make it about We.

Me will no longer succeed. Not in politics, business or love.

We We WE.

Me is a party of one.

WE is a festival of many.

Another secret I hold dear is the secret of Yes.

Say yes often and easily.

Hold Yes in your heart.

Answer all questions of Can you, will you, would you?

with YES.

Answer all inner questions that ask, Will I, should I, can I?

with YES.

Surround yourself with those that say Yes!

Yes.

And know that those that say no are not for you.

Those that are not for you are against you.

Those that are not for you are against you.

Those that are not for you are against you.

Got it?

Anyone against you must be asked to leave your life.

If they won’t, you must leave theirs.

And when you do, do not look back.

I cannot promise you much

But I can guarantee that a total transformation of your life will require much letting go and because we are human and normally based in fear, this letting go will be a source of some pain before it is a reason for great celebration.

The trick is to not fear the pain of letting go.

Embrace it. Love it, Allow it, own it, and indulge in it, if you want to.

Pain is like the car wash of life.

If you can allow it to wash over you, to pound you with its hard currents and soft cloths, if you can accept it rubbing you every which way, it will release you whole again, new and shining and worthy of notice.

Finally, a friend asked me what was the one thing she could do to start seeing change in her life.

I answered, Tilt your head up many times a day, and say thank you.

No matter what.

All the time.

Thank you.

April 2011
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